Why did the chicken cross the road?

News Clippings:



Suicide attack on Taj MaHOLE.
Chennai:
A suicide bomber used a car bomb to launch an attack on one of the world's oldest and well preserved pot hole. Taj MaHOLE is an UNESCO world heritage site dating back to Pallava dynasty. There are inscription on Tanjore temple that hint at people of Thirumailai (Now Mylapore) submitting a petition to the then ruler Pallava the 666th to initiate the work on road construction and repair. However the petition was discarded as per the governance policies(now a code of conduct for any TN government agency). The inscription alludes to what could have been a man hole sized pothole on the ground. Over the year, through several dynasties & colonial / post colonial rule, the monument has grown to the size of 2500 color tv sets (Unit of measurement for current ruling dynasty - MKs).
In the late 90s the MKs forced the UNESCO to grant the site a World heritage tag following a series of self immolation by the party workers.
The motive of the attack remains unknown and government suspects the hands of LeT aka Pakistan in collaboration with opposition party. Meanwhile at the other end of this hole, Obama has condemned the attack saying "who ever carried out this attack is an ***hole". No one knows what lies at the bottom of the pothole some say Osama is hiding there. The mystery remains.
 
Surveillance cameras for monitoring city traffic.


Chennai:
The traffic cops have added another ammunition to their "maamool" arsenal - Surveillance cameras. The cameras have been fitted in remote places and hidden from public view. "The objective is not to scare ppl or deter crime, it is to let those happen and let the collection agencies take on from there on.. oops.. have i revealed a bit too much?" asks the inspector general traffic police.
"Awesome.. see see we can take pics at night .. night vision" said the CM who unveiled the first working piece, which also happens to be the 100th piece to be unveiled. "Look at the pic, its exactly how it appears to naked eye.. crystal clear" said a constable whoz stationed next to high traffic junction - Tasmac.
Couple of concerned citizens said '.. we think.. may be.. we donno ..not so sure ... but the number plate .. is not visible.. isnt it?".. "velinaatu sadhi" is apparently a reason for this. Yet the cops claim that it is not an issue as they still used such pic to nail down offenders and have collected about 3 lakhs in penalty!!
The ultimate weapon in cracking down "crack / narcotic trade", humping down street prostitutes, and blowing off illicit romance on street is here. In fact, videos of couples on street, uploaded onto website is fetching an alternate income for the state.


Its official - 1 paisa coins withdrawn from circulation


Chennai 2009:
The traffic police have finally stopped accepting 1 paisa coins as "Penalty". Unofficial confirmation arrived yesterday from an offender. "i was returning home when i jumped a signal. I was stopped by the cop who demanded that i pay the fine. All i had was a 20 Rs note in my pocket, which I handed over. But the observant officer heard a lil jingle in my pocket. So i had to hand the 2 Re coin. I don’t have words to describe the brilliance of the cop for what he said immediately "kannna..... orey kai la oosai varaadhu.. orey coin la satham varaadhu" (One coin alone cant make the sound) Brillaint .. then i handed over the 1 paise coin i was hoping to add to my numismatic / antique collection. He took that too and said "we still take it till midnight. Only from tomorrow will we stop accepting 1 paisa coins. 5 paisa coins will still hold good"
Today the official confirmation is expected to coincide with the launch of 10 re coins. RBI uses’ traffic cop's non acceptance' as official trigger to announce withdrawal of a coin from circulation, though the minting was stopped was back in the 60s.
 
Ambush warfare tactics originated on Chennai streets


Chennai:
The recent disclosures by the captured terrorist has pressed ASI to unearth what is perhaps one of the most startling discoveries of this decade. In his statement the terrorist had said "we learnt the ambush tactics from traffic cops on Chennai streets".
ASI then studied the tactics used by our friendly neighborhood cops to find out that they are never at the spot where one might expect them to be; at the junction. Instead they are perfectly camouflaged among the customers of briyani shop around the corner, where they usually have a running account. Once an offender passes close by, cops pounce on them faster than a cheetah would ! With a six sigma precision they turn off your bike and take the key in a flash. How they manage to all these within a blink of the eye, despite their signature belly remains beyond the realm of science.
Seems like this has been happening even before automobile was invented !!, which only deepens the mystery. Harvard, which wrote a case on dubbawallas of Mumbai plans to write a case on our friendly cops too.